Day 4 – Cinnamon Raisin Toast

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First thing to go on a busy day is self-care. So frustrating! I couldn’t even get a good intention going, but I did buy a few treats for myself. Cinnamon raisin & english muffin bread with real butter, and café mocha coffee.  My stomach is growling just writing about them.

One of the overwhelms of my life is getting absorbed by the details. At the store yesterday I thought – why am I buying bread when I can ( and I enjoy) baking my own, I  mentally tally up the price and then worry about the plastic packaging going to the landfill and after that think of the extra calories! My kids see what they like,  feel happiness & anticipation and toss it in the cart. They don’t over analyze or over buy. They don’t think if they deserve it.

I deserve a reward. That was my thought the whole way through drinking, it made me special. Things were happier & lighter, and that constant monologue in my head would quiet. So far, my rewards don’t do that. They are not a mind altering drug that will change me simply because it’s a drug. I have to give my rewards that power with intention.

So, in my best cinnamon raisin toast voice I tell myself – girlfriend you rocked the last few days not drinking! Your amazing! You deserve really wonderful toast. You are not everyday generic house brand white sandwich bread. Raisins & cinnamon reflect how unique & special you are. Bon appetit.

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