Day 11- Aches and Pains

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Woke up in the night with a terrible pain in my chest. Wouldn’t ya know it,  finally get some days sober and then I get a heart attack. When I woke up a little further I realized it was, of course, heartburn, having given myself free rein with food & drink. Pop & sugar are not my friends even though they are sweet, bubbly and lovely. It felt good to give in to cravings though.

My back was too sore to do any stretches this week, so I took a bunch of IB’s yesterday so I could do a little yoga to get it loosened up. (IB’s, more heartburn trouble I bet.) I have done a whole lot of sitting and relaxing on my first week off. Good for the head not good for the lower back muscles.

My self-care skills are truly broken from drinking. Survival mode was my normal feeling. Now I have time to choose how I want to spend my day. Exercise and eating lightly are what I’m craving. I have the knowledge but have lost the ability and desire to put these things first. 

I don’t want to feel crappy anymore. I need to get my body and head on the same team. Let myself listen to the thighs and not the head. My head got me in trouble in the first place. Too many thoughts and emotions. My thighs would like a chance to loosen up and go crazy.

Reward thoughts

  • Clean sheets on Sunday is still a keeper
  • Movies in the afternoon not the evening. Watched this week, Monuments Men, Frozen, Guardians of the Galaxy & Saving Mr. Banks ( loved this movie!!!)
  • Eat anything I want. HaHa That backfired. I thought this was a reward but instead it caused more problems……… Interesting.

*eating everything in sight, doing three rewards a day, working on not feeling guilty, talked myself out of romancing a drink after work – yeah!

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