Day 12 – Did Too Much

Standard

Starting at 3:30 am like I normally do, I faced a “regular” day. Work. Overwhelming. How much had I been doing? It was way too much. Taking tine off has let me rest and organize myself. Going forward I do not want to work at that crazy pace.

Last night I went to bed almost crying from the pain of a hard days work. That’s enough of that life choice. I didn’t recognize my days were so physically draining. Alcohol did its job well and covered up that pain. I thought my days were hard because of the hangovers. Well, duh, but what I didn’t see was my days were truly that hard!

While purchasing inventory I noticed flowers. I still hadn’t picked out my reward of 10 stems of flowers for 10 days sober. In the checkout line, I seriously almost went back and exchanged them for wine. I thought about having to write that on this blog and kept the flowers.

When I got home at 4, i made myself get the flowers in water before I started working with my tax clients. As I talked with clients I had my flowers on the desk in front of me. Flower Power.

Today I have another phyically demanding morning followed again by tax clients, but this time at their offices. Finally at 3:30 this afternoon I get my hair colored. That will begin the last of my time off work.

As I write this I am imagining the pain I will feel this evening. But will I? I don’t know for sure so I don’t want to assume I will be miserable. Ack! Where are my rewards? The whole point of this blog. Understanding self-care!

Reward thoughts

  • Wine 
  • Tea ( blucky – but do it anyway!) It is warm & cozy.
  • Hair colored – no grays – yeah!
  • Get take out for supper – this is not your night to be SuperMom

*funny, up at 3:30 again, super long tax day ahead of me, with the 45 previous sober days plus these new 12, I feel much better, taking better care of myself overall, first post last days Dec, this post first days of April, definately learning to make better choices in the last 3 months

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