Day 16 – An Absurd Craving


On the page section I have started a Word of the Year – Creative page. I put on there some of the ways I have started being creative with my home environment. As I was vacuuming under the bed I noticed terrible stains between the bed and the nightstand. They were from wine drips. I loved reading in bed with a glass of wine. Usually by the time I got up to bed I was finishing the second bottle and was taking it up with me.

I had a terrible urge to drink. I had brand new sheets, comforter and a good book and I wanted to climb into that memory. The stains were SO ugly. I thought it was so strange that something BAD like gross stains would make me anxious for a glass of wine.

There were many times that I fell asleep holding the wine glass. When it spilled, I wouldn’t even wake up and I ended up sleeping  in that wet sticky mess. I would be so hung over when I woke up in the middle of the night, I would just change my nightgown and crawl in the other side of the bed. That was not the part I was missing! I missed the pretty part.

Without any real intention, I ended up getting distracted and forgot about it. When I finally did crawl into bed last night, I didn’t have the craving anymore. And I’m very glad this morning too!

I didn’t anticipate changing things around in the house would cause cravings. The craving seemed to come from a place of celebration and reward. I will have to be more in tune to watching for that as I continue to rearrange my spaces.

Treat thoughts:

  • Rewards are for before bed. Not while in it. Except reading!!! Okay FOOD & DRINK rewards need to be BEFORE bed.
  • Shopping at home was a blast. I uncovered great treasures buried in the closets and repurposed objet d’art (my own junk)
  • I am moving away from EVERY SINGLE TREAT being a food treat.

3 thoughts on “Day 16 – An Absurd Craving

  1. Losing&Healing

    Oh man I definitly would drink in bed until passing out and spill my drink. Then when I woke just roll to anothet spot.
    Yes I dont miss that!
    Keep up the good sober work you are doing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. Very open and raw post. Thank you for sharing it.
    I need to get away from rewarding myself with sweets. I am gaining weight like crazy because sugar is my sub for booze. Not good!


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