It feels like forever but it’s only 21 days.
Only one of those nights I went to bed at 8:15 with my boys. The other 20 they took care of the downstairs lights and got themselves to bed. (We all like going early and I’m blessed that 9 is a late night for a 12 & 15 year old!)
Last night I felt sad that my son came in at 8, I had been asleep for a while, had me sign his reading log, kissed me & the dog, rubbed my back a minute, petted the dog a minute, turned off my light, shut my door & told me and the dog goodnight.
That was my job.
Obviously I have done it well since he knows how to put someone to bed. I felt sad. I felt guilty. I felt angry. I felt proud. Then I went right back to sleep.
When I was a professional nanny I would tell parents, if they felt guilty, they were doing a good job. Parenting is thinking from all angles. Kind of like that technique, what is the effect in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years?
Right now I can accept my feelings. My body is finding a new rythm. I am looking at this issue as a matter of days.
- Went to bed at 6:30, read til 7:30, got tucked in by my son at 8. Except for mommy guilt – it’s a great treat!
- Caught myself only half listening to a coworker. I stopped what I was doing, turned to face her and conciously looked at her and listened. She is a lonely woman and had a story to tell. I was surprised at how much I tune the staff out when they talk. It was a treat to hear her tell a cool story about her working in Vegas & driving a convertible.
- Listening to an Amy Tan book on tape. I LOVE HER! What a fantastic treat for the commute to work. I can’t wait to get in the car!!!