Butter & Jam


After reading A Course in Weight Loss, I have been listening to the little voice in my head sending me subconsious messages.

Toast is one of my sober reward treats almost daily. Good bread toasted perfectly, real butter & fantastic jam.

It gives me the memory of eating breakfast out (very rare growing up) and getting already buttered toast and those little squares of jelly. Each section of my toast got a different flavor.

At home we could only choose oleo OR jelly. I don’t know if there was a reason. Later, it was because of all the calorie counting. Maybe that’s where it started. I do remember my Mom constantly counting calories.

One of my sober rewards was ordering a butter bell. The real butter goes in the bell shaped lid and an inch or so of water in the base makes a seal. It keeps the butter fresh and soft with refrigeration.

Good bread, real butter & lovely jam. Shut up voice in my head that says you will get fat eating both.

Focusing on my treats and rewards for sobriety has been so revealing. I knew I was having a hard time being kind to myself and my goal of this blog has been to uncover the roadblocks of self-care. Such a simple thing – toast.  And so many thoughts about eating it.

Treat thoughts:

  • More toast – more butter – more jellies & jams!
  • Panera dark roast coffee K-cups
  • Artichoke spread for my current panini craving

4 thoughts on “Butter & Jam

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