My boys are artists. I am a math geek.
They struggle in school due to the rules. I was – school rules!
I had no idea what exclusion was In school. Not being able to have a pizza party or go to a movie as a treat because you were late with one piece of homework. My 6th grader is having the worst end of the year.
My son with autism is a freshman. He coaches his little bro on how to handle these situations. Because he has such heightened sensory experiences he is able to share how he had to hold his muscles, use facial expressions and control the thoughts in his head when he was that age. He explains how this time will pass and that it will get better.
It is horrifying for me to not understand how they feel. I don’t even remember any unfairness in school because I was never less than the best at anything. I certainly don’t understand how hard it is to be an artistic, creative soul in a geeky rule driven world.
Because of the autism of one and the severe speech stammer of the other, my boys did not talk to each other until both were in elementary school. They don’t fight, either physically or verbally. My freshman son tells his friends that his little bro is cool.
When my ex left for a 21 year old (20 years younger than me at the time) the boys were 3 & 6. Just starting special ed preschool and kindergarten. Gosh, its been a tough 10 years alone.
Their artist father lives down the street with his new family but doesn’t see the boys. The other side of the family are professional artists. My side of the family, engineers, computer programmers and accounting.
I drank to black out. Not even to get drunk. I just wanted out.
But, I’m here now. Not wanting out anymore but trying to find a way in their lives.
Creative is my word of the year. I thought it would mean “doing” creative things. Looks like I will be exporing what “being” creative means. The challenges, unfairness and choices that must be faced when we live in a geek driven world and have creative souls.