“My desire to drink is getting stronger not weaker.” Sadly the paragraphs before this referenced myself saying I nedded to address my work hours.
Now, at the same amount of sober time I can gladly say that the desire to drink is very weak and getting weaker! And guess what? I fixed the work problem and ta da… it helped.
I don’t think being sober would have fixed my work problem. I think fixing my work problem gave me the freedom to fix my drinking problem. When I do too much I want to drink.
Yesterday I started cleaning at 4:00 am. I finished at 11:00. It was the city wide cleanup so from 12-3 we hauled junk from the garage to the dump. Then a quick shower and went to the grocery store. Home at 6. All of a sudden this thought of a glass of wine popped in my head. Great job today! You worked hard and got a lot done!
I recognized that thought. I knew if I let if fester it would lead to drinking. No! Stop! I got some supper and a movie and ice cream and I stopped. I stopped the thought, I stopped moving and I got my head thinking in another direction.
It was a very small thought of drinking and I did not let it continue. Before I was letting my thoughts run the show. I could not get them to shut up. My thoughts became actions. Now, my thoughts are just a thought. When I stop, I may choose to act, or I may choose to sit and eat ice cream instead.
That ice cream is good stuff!