Easier but still not EASY

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I still crave escape. Every day I think about it.

I re-read all my blog posts at day 100 as a treat to myself. The one thing that stuck was ON and OFF are not feelings.

When I am ON everything is great & EASY. But when things get a little tough, I want out. I want to shut down.

Easier is giving in to OFF. Not fighting the feeling of checking out. I had to learn how to do this by not using alcohol. I need a lot of OFF time.

Easier is choosing something else. I had never tried any other way. Alcohol worked. But, I have learned some new ways to shut down for a while. They didn’t start out easy, but they have gotten easier. And I’m finding alcohol didn’t fix the “I want out” feeling. Other things fix the feeling much better and it goes away.

Easier is waking up feeling better. And then trying again.

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8 thoughts on “Easier but still not EASY

  1. tryingagain2505

    Totally get this….. My recent posts haspve had the same theme, how do I “relax” now I no longer drink? It’s a toughie but am working it out, hope you do too

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly…Candy Crush, lol Solitaire or any game! In the mornings I walk, do yoga & plan. I can’t do any of these later in the day. In the afternoons that I’m home I read or bake. In the evenings I stay off the internet & watch a few special recorded TV shows & skip the commercials. No food or drink commercials to tempt me. I also like puzzles with pencil & paper, like crosswords or soduko, especially at supper time. I try to stay off electronics after work, especially FB. If I do my mornings well, I have a lot less trouble with cravings in the evening. I also keep one special book in my bedroom that I only read there, that way I can’t wait to go to bed! I go to bed at 8pm to read and get up at 4:30am. Yoga at 5:30am Walk at 6:00. Loud music in the shower! Love that! By the time I see my kids I am in a good place. What do you do that helps?

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  2. momma bee

    I can totally relate~ I want to “check out & not think” too….. Those days I exercise more, go to bed early or nap or watch endless TV. Those days have become less too….. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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