Support From Strangers

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Where did your sober support come from?

My greatest support has been from strangers. Not my family & friends.

Yesterday I went to lunch with the my only friend in town who has seen my drunk. Her father is a raging alcoholic. She recognized that I was an alcoholic too. She has prayed for me to quit and is excited about my recovery. She loves me, but she can’t give me the constant feedback that recovery takes.

Family and friends have their place in support but I am unable to go to my deepest and darkest places with them. I have found that sharing is best done with someone who has lived it.

Sharing with my partner in the self-care class last night was amazing. She recovered with AA and a sponsor. She even got out her Big Book and showed me her treat to herself of an amazing leather cover. We talked about why AA didn’t mesh for me and why it saved her life. We talked about being mothers and Netflix and really shameful past experiences and hair color.

Blog sharing has saved my life by being honest and reading others stories of honesty.

It is good stuff, this sharing of stories with strangers.

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10 thoughts on “Support From Strangers

  1. mishedup

    I get this…
    AA is predicated on the whole idea of “one drunk talking to another”…
    so are these sober blogs.
    we get it in ways that no one else can. My friends who leave half a glass of wine at dinner don’t get it,and certainly don’t understand why that makes me prickly, right?

    I’m glad your partner is in recovery, just one more common language you share. You might like to get the BB and read the stories in the back for some identification. There are also some great books out there, one of my very favorites is “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp. That book helped me a lot.

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    • I’m discovering AA through eyes of sober women I admire. I wish my earlier experiences hadn’t been so poor. ( kind of like I feel about men! I hear there are good ones just haven’t experienced it for my self, haha) I will definately check out the book. Thanks!

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  2. My family has been a big support, and a few friends. Most people (I hesitate to call them friends) treat my sobriety as temporary (despite it being more than 2 years) or suggest I can drink “just this once.”

    Thank you for posting!

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  3. Hi, Lori! I would say from strangers but of course you all my best friends now (awwww….) Seriously, I don’t think most family members and close friends have enough objectivity to truly support us on the level we need. Because they don’t know what we need– should they use tough love, should they knock it out of hands if they see it, are we SERIOUS, do we really need to go this far, do we want their support even if we change our minds later??
    I had one of my very close friends ask me recently (in reference to me whining about quitting smoking) “Am I the devil or the angel on your shoulder today?” She is good friend!
    I feel like in this situation you have to start with people who ARE you, who will never question your motives and always take you at face value when you say you have a problem.
    I you are having a lovely weekend:)))

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  4. Untipsyteacher

    My biggest supporters have been my hubs, my blogger friends, and my AA buds.
    The reason, is they and you, get it.
    My family supports me, but in a different way.
    I need people who can say, Yup..me too.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My family and friends seem to be totally unaware I’d started to have a problem, even my partner, my biggest supporter is my 11yr old daughter who’s concern and support came from being taught about the dangers of alcohol and drugs at school not because she identifies me as an alcoholic as she doesn’t necessarily understand the concept of what an alcoholic is – she just wants a happy healthy mum and likes this new more chilled and relaxed version
    So yes its all you so called strangers rhat do it for me, who are the most amazing support network – it doesn’t matter how high or low your ‘bottom’ was or maybe hasn’t been yet we all get it and are just there to listen and support

    Like

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