“We take bad things that happen to us as a deep personal insult.”
I have found it!
I believe this is why I can’t heal from my divorce 10 years ago.
This mornings speaker tied it into the “Why ME?” feeling we get when stuff goes wrong. And beyond just goes wrong, really, really tragic things. When my little sis got cancer you can bet we did a lot of WHY ME therapy! Who wants cancer to happen to a child. That makes sense. But we understand that cancer is random and not a personal assault.
But divorce…someone had to do something. A choice somewhere was made. It involves grown ups. It isn’t a random genetic mistake of the 19th & 21st chromosomes linked across the top like leukemia.
I know I have mentioned that I live in a small town and the people tend to be isolated and prejudiced in their thinking. Two years ago when my boys were part of a community group I took a stand that things were unfair, I received an email from a dad that said he was pulling his son from the program because he didn’t want him to be around someone who was immoral. Yep. I was called immoral because I was divorced. Even though my ex had an affair with a just turned 21-year-old and flaunted it about town, I was the immoral one. I just pulled my kids out and stayed home.
It was the start of me not leaving my house for two years (and my box of wine every five days became a box every two days) until I began some therapy.
“We take bad things that happen to us as a deep personal insult.” Yes, yes I do.
Now maybe I can start to heal this thing.