“We take bad things that happen to us as a deep personal insult.”
Ta-Da!!
I have found it!
I believe this is why I can’t heal from my divorce 10 years ago.
This mornings speaker tied it into the “Why ME?” feeling we get when stuff goes wrong. And beyond just goes wrong, really, really tragic things. When my little sis got cancer you can bet we did a lot of WHY ME therapy! Who wants cancer to happen to a child. That makes sense. But we understand that cancer is random and not a personal assault.
But divorce…someone had to do something. A choice somewhere was made. It involves grown ups. It isn’t a random genetic mistake of the 19th & 21st chromosomes linked across the top like leukemia.
I know I have mentioned that I live in a small town and the people tend to be isolated and prejudiced in their thinking. Two years ago when my boys were part of a community group I took a stand that things were unfair, I received an email from a dad that said he was pulling his son from the program because he didn’t want him to be around someone who was immoral. Yep. I was called immoral because I was divorced. Even though my ex had an affair with a just turned 21-year-old and flaunted it about town, I was the immoral one. I just pulled my kids out and stayed home.
It was the start of me not leaving my house for two years (and my box of wine every five days became a box every two days) until I began some therapy.
“We take bad things that happen to us as a deep personal insult.” Yes, yes I do.
Now maybe I can start to heal this thing.
A Rewarding Life 
Hug. So many things aren’t fair. But the root of suffering is arguing with reality, so at some point we have to say, this was not fair, but it is what it is. I am going to make the most of today.
I know you are on that path. Maybe it’s time to consider leaving that small town. You deserve to spread your wings. Or maybe you will just spread them there and show just how awesome you are.
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Just. Wow. I can’t believe that someone could be so myopic and insensitive, it’s beyond my comprehension entirely, I actually feel pity for this fellow having to live life being so small minded, he’s missing out on so much. So sorry that you had to experience so much hurt but just look at you now! you should be so proud of where you are.
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Lori,
Hugs.
I am always amazed at how cruel and hurtful people can be.
Healing from a divorce where your ex had an affair, and then you are judged must be excruciating.
Let me know when you come back into the big city, and we can go for a walk, or have coffee at my house!!
xo
Wendy
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I’m a firm believer in walking around with an F-U ready on my lips. Don’t approve? F-U. Judge me? F-U. Most people are decent, for everyone else there’s F-U. Maybe you need a little more F-U in your life:)
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