Giving Value to Failure


I’ve written a bit on Failure, and why it’s a good thing. It’s taken me a bit to see my Sober Failure as valuable. I have always been a proponent of over-sharing with strangers in order to let people know they are not alone.

When people are in “hospital mode” and their new lives are spent living at and celebrating holidays confined to hospital rooms & bad news, I share my family’s story.

When a client is currently struggling to understand a new divorce and taxes I can help them sort it out.

The autistic boys who are currently incarcerated and I volunteered to do mock interviews,  they are grateful that stammers and lack of eye contact are okay. I undestad them and they feel heard and accepted outside of prison walls. (I was then asked to present a class on taxes to this group of juveniles who will soon be released about taxes. Such an honor and finally get to do the prison Beatitude!)

But sharing a Sober Failure after my first long stretch of time was really hard! I wasn’t in the beginning stages, I wasn’t long term, but was I normal? AA wisdom holds in not having a relationship within the first year sober. I know it definitely contributed to my drinking again.

Another common cliché is that relationships cause you to face what you need to fix. If you’re not ready to better yourself, than stay single. And I didn’t choose that. So now today, I am looking at my sobriety.

Thankfully, I know how wonderful not drinking feels. I most certainly understand One Day or even “The Next 5 Minutes” At A Time a whole lot better. I had a choice yesterday to drink a beer resting in the shade or iced tea.  I chose tea, but because I battle alcohol, it was a choice that had to be given a lot of thought and an entire blog post.

Because sharing our successes and failures makes us not feel alone.

5 thoughts on “Giving Value to Failure

    • He drinks. I thought that would be okay with me. The trigger part was feeling like I am missing out or that the experience would be better with a pretty glass of wine. It was too much temptation at first. That ‘new love’ feeling made me feel great! Now, as we are settling in to a rhythm I’m finding less temptation to ‘improve’ or celebrate the moments. Once the newness/excitement wore off I’m making better choices again. Good question! Does that sound like an answer or a cop out? I don’t think I have enough sober time to give a really honest answer – you guys need to call BS on me if I need it 🙂

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