Co-dependent?

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On Wednesdays the kids get out an hour and a half early from school. Very annoying. It’s just so disruptive to schedules. I have always picked up my kids from school when I can. Boys may share for a few moments in the car ride, but once they hit home my 17 year old’s motto is “What happens at school stays at school.” Since he has his own car now, his motto is true. I don’t even get 3 minutes of shares. I hang on to these last few months of my 14 year old who will either drive himself or ride with his brother home from high school. Then that role will end for me as a mother.

So…Wednesday afternoons get long for me. I wanted to keep busy to keep the sad thoughts from creeping in. Instead I sat quietly and listened to Recovery 2.0 videos. I just used those voices as friends. I heard the term co-dependent. Both the speaker and the moderator laughed as they said that they went right to being co-dependent after they got sober. I’m wondering if that is what happened in the relationship that just ended for me.

If you have any good book suggestions or if it happened to you, please share. I have always considered myself independent, but I did find myself completely immersed in this relationship. It was fun to be a part of something. What are some of the warning signs, that you recognize if it starts to happen to you? 

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8 thoughts on “Co-dependent?

  1. Melodie Beattie. She is the queen.
    Codependent no more. The language of letting go.
    Google her and just read a bit.

    I think it’s hard to not be codependent with our kids. But as they grown more independent we need to recognize our individuality.

    Hug.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Lori,
    I was going to suggest the same book!
    I have never read it, I am thinking it might be good to read it!
    Your sons are growing up so fast!
    I think it would be very hard to let them go, and yet, you will always be their mom!
    xo
    Wendy

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  3. I have gone through phases of co-dependence and find my tell-tale sign is when I start feeling less Me. And sometimes the co-dependence isn’t even a person, but it’s a job or a Thing I feel I must do/accomplish. If I lose myself in the equation, then I try to re-center, re-balance, and re-focus so that I can be and feel more Whole. Easy to say, but not always easy to do. Thinking of you – transitions (sons going into high school!) can be hard on everyone. Be kind to yourself.* -HM.

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    • I lose myself to everything I do! I research, plan, schedule and thereby try to guarantee a happy ending! I thought that was a great way to do projects/hobbies/people. Am finding out that is exactly the definition of co-dependent and I am it’s best poster child. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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