“Getting our balance and keeping it, is what recovery is all about.”
I opened up the WordPress Admin page to see my last blog post and found this quote in the Drafts. I don’t remember putting it there or where I heard it from but obviously it resonated with me sometime in the last few weeks.
This has been me for several weeks now. I can’t quite get enough accomplished (balanced) to take a step forward. I get half the kitchen cleaned AND THEN START A NEW RECIPE or I get the laundry done BUT NOT PUT AWAY. I get ready to do financials for work AND THE CARPET GETS DELIVERED FOR THE REMODEL. UGH…..
That is what the definition of off-balance is for me. Drinking happens during these times.
I have been questioning the concept of DONE vs IN RECOVERY. I want to be done. These kind of times in life remind me that the action word – recover – is just that. An action. I crave simple and efficient. But I lost my balance and then I lost ease. Easy in my actions and ease in my thoughts.
For some reason, I think I can manage the world (*cough* – CONTROL- *cough*) and when I get everything in order (*cough* – CONTROL-*cough*) I will magically not want to drink and things will be easy!
So I search for balance. Search, search, search……
I know the answer to balance.
WHY DO I FORGET THAT!!!
Treat & Reward Plan for this week:
- I broke down and bought frozen lunches for work this week instead of cooking from scratch. I WILL NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR EATING PRE-PACKAGED FOOD! Lots of jobs depend on me buying & eating this food-right!?!
- My work this week is about getting clients and staff the training and reports they need. I WILL NOT GET DISTRACTED BY RE-ARRANGING FURNITURE now that the new carpet is in. (And putting all my pretty colored ink pens & matching sticky note pads in a cute little desk display.) Focus OFF myself & my distractions and focus ON others.
- Buy more ice cream……