Balance (Again)

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“Getting our balance and keeping it, is what recovery is all about.”

I opened up the WordPress Admin page to see my last blog post and found this quote in the Drafts. I don’t remember putting it there or where I heard it from but obviously it resonated with me sometime in the last few weeks. 

This has been me for several weeks now. I can’t quite get enough accomplished (balanced) to take a step forward. I get half the kitchen cleaned AND THEN START A NEW RECIPE or I get the laundry done BUT NOT PUT AWAY. I get ready to do financials for work AND THE CARPET GETS DELIVERED FOR THE REMODEL. UGH…..

That is what the definition of off-balance is for me. Drinking happens during these times. 

I have been questioning the concept of DONE vs IN RECOVERY. I want to be done. These kind of times in life remind me that the action word – recover – is just that. An action. I crave simple and efficient. But I lost my balance and then I lost ease. Easy in my actions and ease in my thoughts. 

For some reason, I think I can manage the world (*cough* – CONTROL- *cough*) and when I get everything in order (*cough* – CONTROL-*cough*) I will magically not want to drink and things will be easy! 

So I search for balance. Search, search, search……

I know the answer to balance.

 Sit still….

WHY DO I FORGET THAT!!! 

Treat & Reward Plan for this week:

  • I broke down and bought frozen lunches for work this week instead of cooking from scratch. I WILL NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR EATING PRE-PACKAGED FOOD!  Lots of jobs depend on me buying & eating this food-right!?! 
  • My work this week is about getting clients and staff the training and reports they need. I WILL NOT GET DISTRACTED BY RE-ARRANGING FURNITURE now that the new carpet is in. (And putting all my pretty colored ink pens & matching sticky note pads in a cute little desk display.) Focus OFF myself & my distractions and focus ON others.
  • Buy more ice cream…… 
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3 thoughts on “Balance (Again)

  1. I seem to go through scattered periods, not really sure where they come from. Probably undiagnosed ADD but I totally get that craving for control and peace. I do know not drinking is the only thing that helps me actually find balance. And yes on those pre-prepared meals. No shame at all in giving yourself space. It ebbs and flows.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find myself doing that at times and basically that’s what you have to keep telling yourself, prioritize! Your on the right track! Stay focused and don’t stress so much! Do what YOU want, eat what YOU want, and be who YOU want to be in your world..

    Like

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