Despite the pain, I had a good day. Whenver I felt the sadness close in, I said a prayer or sent thoughts of love and kindness. I hope the undercurrents of loving energy can reach through. He has shut me out and I don’t get a chance to speak. Some people are like that. I need to talk it out. When he shuts down he pushes away and doesn’t forgive.
I am keeping my attention on work and building my future. I don’t know what it will bring. My last time sober, my life grew to a point where I was happy. The return of alcohol brought me back to the pain of regret.
Today: I will continue to create loving thoughts for my lost love, my children, my staff and my clients. When I am with them I will be fully present. I will take care of myself with yoga, meditation, good food, picking up around me and walking the dog.
At the end of the day: Prayer, meditation and relaxation in bed after I calm myself by reading a good, light Debbie Macomber.
Through blogging I have learned to put action behind my thoughts. I can’t sit and think myself better.