Discovery from a podcast: Wanting to reach out and make it better = Co-dependent behavior.
Yesterday, my friend was working next door to my office. I saw him and he wouldn’t respond. I waited a long time before I went home hoping we could talk. (I texted, called & waited in front of the door & he ignored it all.)
Indifference, cold-shoulder, not answering, not responding, is a terrible punishment. I had sent two long texts last week apologizing and no response. I actually cried during several appointments. I could feel the sadness bursting out. I knew I was going to have to stay home & sob this weekend.
After I got home one of the girls texted (she didnt want to upset me during the day) that as soon as I left yesterday night he came in to the office and asked for me. He then told the girls we were fighting and he was done with the drama. They said it was pretty uncomfortable. But it makes me feel better because at least anger means that there is emotion.
I mean, I really feel better. How weird.
Discovering that I am using co-dependency skills definitely makes me want to stop trying to fix it. Discovering that the more I push, the worse I make things. Now, I have been TOLD that before, but the podcast helped me UNDERSTAND my behavior.
I will take anger over indifference any day.
I woke up refreshed and ready to get on with the business of getting on. I can’t save the relationship. I can appreciate the gifts it gave me.