I got a phone call from the driving instructor that my 14 year old son was crying in the back of the car after his turn to drive.He had asked him a bunch of times what was going on, but my son was to distraught to speak. When he called he said he would let him try one more time, but then he would request that he be let go from the program.
I asked my son what happened and he cried again. I asked what he was feeling and he said he had no feelings, it just happens. I told him he had to stop it. After getting nowhere, I sent him to shower and I got on the internet.
First, I found that repeatedly grilling him is not helping. (I love parenting – it’s so easy!!)
Second, I discovered the most amazing website for anxiety in teens. http://youth.anxietybc.com There is a site for adults too.
He took the test and I was surprised. My introverted, sensitive, quiet son isn’t! He has, in his own words, Social Anxiety. The site didn’t have those words but HE NAMED IT. Now I have a beginning spot. “IT” has a name. The intangible, overwhelm can be contained.
I compare it to how I have come to understand alcoholism. Once I understood what it felt like, there were others like me, and there were answers, I could work with it. Not eliminate it, but calm it and quiet the beast. And i have learned that it is a part of me and I am not ‘less than’ for having it. It will flare up if I don’t take care of myself.
Honestly, I don’t want to add helping my son deal with anxiety so bad that he may be let go from driving, to my plate right now. But…this is what has to happen above all else.