Because I have blogged for years, I get to look back. How did getting to 6 weeks sober get “easy”? Only because I did the hard work a little at a time, over many years, with lots of starts and stops. Each time built a stronger foundation.
It feels like, “Mom, Mark is poking me!” Mom sighs, “Just move.”
- I want Mom to fix it. Someone tell me how to be sober. Just do it for me.
- I want Mark to stop poking me. If only everyone else would quit bugging me, needing me, if the stress would go away, I could stay sober.
- Mom is frustrated. She has the answer. It’s (sort of) simple. Just don’t drink today.
- I move. I stand further back from the problem. I take action. I can’t make Mark stop poking me, I can’t make Mom stop Mark poking me. I, however, can move. [Or I can say No & punch him.] All those answers start with me taking action.
In these last six weeks being sober, I’ve taken action. I have tools built from past experiences. I’ve developed a hundred different ways to step back from my annoying brother.
Taking a drink every night felt like getting poked. I couldn’t figure out how to make it stop.
Being sober makes me feel powerful. I can’t stop all the stupid people in this world from trying to poke me (politics, overtime, health care, violence, global warming, no chocolate in the house). But I have learned what makes me thrive.
Sometimes nibbling a lemon cookie and sipping hot tea in the evening and watching everyone else poke each other is a good place to be.