Is it a Sober Christmas Eve?

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Why yes it is! Just poured myself a full sugar no caffeine pop. I didn’t cook for the kids. In fact, I didn’t do anything for the kids all day. It is almost 5pm and already dark here. One is finally showering – oh wait, he said this is his second shower! No wonder my water bill is up. Both played videos all day and I read (C.J.Box – love these books) and played Spider Solitaire and read sober blogs.

No stress except what I chose to make. There have been many many many many Christmas Eve’s that have been bad. Years of fighting, divorce, break-ups, lonely, sick, drunk, nursing, and combine any two or three above.

I bought new Christmas plates this year and every cookie ingredient on the shelves. Didn’t happen.

And oh well. Do you know HOW MUCH WORK IT TAKES TO GET TO OH WELL! It takes a lot. It takes time to really mean it.

Was I sad today? Sure. Was I also happy, mad, bored, yep. I sure wish I had the tools of the internet when I knew my drinking was trouble. Isolation was not my friend.

Staying home today and not get triggered by the stores was a good choice. Not making cookies was a good choice. Writing a blog post at night instead of 5am! Good choice.

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