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Grinding my teeth from addiction may be the new catalyst for change. The dentist keeps saying he can’t figure out why my teeth went so bad this year. In my heart I know. I have had three teeth pulled, two crowns, one more scheduled and four cavities just since January. My jaw pain is constant day & night from grinding. Before this I have had three cavities my entire life.

All summer Mon-Wed-Fri at 7am I have zoom exercised with Alison from Teetotally Fit. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I cancelled once. To watch a fellow blogger get sober in these blogs and then move on to fulfill a dream of sobriety coaching & physical training is incredibly inspiring. We both have relatives that live on the same lake in Iowa so we met up in July. It was seamless. I can’t really think of a better word.

Live zoom yoga has also been huge for me. It was the same instructor I had been seeing in person but she offered ALL her classes either live or to watch taped later. The first month I did almost 30 classes just to get my head straight from stress and my body loosened up from sitting for months. I don’t know how I will ever be able to go in person after this. I didn’t have to put on a bra or shower or makeup and I could snuggle with my dog as he “helped” me by sitting on my lap.

A Master Gardener Certificate has been a dream since I was in my twenties. I started my first class this week and invited a friend from town to sign up too. Because the classes are normally offered only in larger cities & at night it wouldn’t work for me before. Now with virtual meetings I get to pursue this dream.

Working has not really ended and I’m concerned (jaw clenched) that I won’t have enough mental break until the next season starts. I’m trying. Even though parenting is easy now (senior in HS and sophomore college) I miss alone time as high school hasn’t started and college is online & he lives at home. So far he has saved over $50,000 in student loans by living at home and financial aid. This is my gift to his future so I keep remembering that.

My garden was okay, not great but I will start canning today and that popping sound of the lids sealing brings me such joy. For something new I’m going to do a fall vegetable garden.

I was fed up with my manfriend not returning phone calls or texts. He had a new grandchild and then I got sick and then the world closed. I just let that relationship slide for a while. I finally opened that door again. He’s a farmer and it is a difficult scary job. One of my clients, a 33 yr old newlywed lost his life in a farm accident. Other clients lost their crops in our Derecho storm. Iowa has been devastated and we are a farm based community. Farmers are not people who ride in and save the damsel in distress. They are ornery. It’s a love em or leave em deal. But they are loyal. Even though I took a break, no one went looking for anything else.

The time I had spent in any relationship in the past, including parenting, I finally decided to invest in myself. I meditated one month over 80 hours! LOTS of that was sleepless nights. The biggest change hasn’t been from me, but from the world adapting to the things I love. Live interactions from home.