I was truly hoping, at some point in the year , that I would take on the Not Drink Challenge. As a transition from WOTY Challenge to Believe, my time has come.
I’m not an out of control drinker as far as behaviour, but drinking has become out of MY control. One sip and I get to hop in the lazy boy & watch tv. I get to stop my day.
On the nights I don’t drink I don’t stop. The dishes are done, I get extra work done (or won’t stop working even though my kids are hounding me that I’m over 12 hours straight) or I go to bed at 6:30 and sleep until 1:30 then I drink the next night to get back on a normal schedule.
I’m not hyper or anxious. I’m not unhappy or angry. I am actually feeling great this year despite everything. But I can’t stop drinking at night. Or I can’t choose to stop drinking because I’m addicted to alcohol.
Well, not beer, which I do like! But it can sit in the fridge for months even when I’m craving any alcohol. Which I find weird. But it also doesn’t matter if it’s na or real beer. But I would never even try na wine or spirits!! And I wouldn’t try them because I’m not in it for the flavor but the result. Beer just doesn’t give me the result I’m after. Which is to end the day.
So my challenge is to (not drink of course) somehow learn to stop my day by MY choice and not because of a chemical.
I can moderate in life. This coffee craze is insane. One good black cup in the morning and I never think about it again. I can have ice cream in the freezer or cookies in the jar and not obsess. Caffeine & sugar are addictive and people talk about sugar as a drug. I think that’s just goofy. (Of course alcohol is a sugar but a Christmas cookie doesn’t make me not be able to operate heavy machinery.)
So, I have my Annie Grace 30 Days. Day One was to explore how we associate “drinking for taste”. So basically, it’s not about the taste. I don’t like to have wine with food or friends or during the day. (Pink in a box is my favorite vintage. And the least percent of alcohol the better.) It’s my private way to stop the day and stop talking to people.
I usually have a glass of wine at 530 when I sit and watch the news. So tonight I challenge myself to have a glass of grape juice (for taste) during the news. I believe I can just do that tonight – and not over think or over plan anything else but just that – just for tonight. One small teeny tiny quiet step in a new direction.