All Good Today

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From Louise  Hay’s Facebook post recently,

“I deserve splendid experiences. All people deserve happy, fulfilling lives. Like most people, I used to believe that I deserved only a little bit of good. Few people believe they deserve ALL
GOOD. Do not limit your good. Most of us have been conditioned to believe that the good in life can only be had if you eat your spinach, clean your room, comb your hair, shine your shoes, don’t make noise, and so on. Although these may be important things to learn, they have nothing to do with inner self-worth. We need to know that we’re already good enough, and that without changing anything at all, we deserve a wonderful life. I open my arms wide and declare with love that I deserve and accept ALL good.”

Boy did this hit home! Not only with how I’m feeling but what I’m expecting from others. The more crazy and unpredictable my life, the more I want to control. Feeling the need of suffer through….

This post reminds me that I can choose to “not suffer”. I can reach for the good and feel good! So I haven’t washed dishes since Sunday. So what that I haven’t vacuumed since Christmas – I know – gross! But, in not doing house cleaning perfectly (or at all) I have had time to enjoy my job and work longer hours. I’m not trying to do it all.

I recognized that  I am setting these boundaries on others. Limiting how they choose to spend their time. Whether it’s my kids gaming or my boyfriend working, I am trying to control their choices to fit my wants and needs. I am going to let that go today.

Thanks Louise Hay for another life affirmation! I am not going to limit my or my family’s good. It’s ALL GOOD!!

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I Said Yes & I Said No

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For two weeks I have been cleaning up more bodily fluids than I have in years. This stomach flu has devastated my family to the point we are taking Zofran. Six days each of hell.

So…the Regional Director calls to move up my vetting – or  as corporate cutely calls it “Day of Discovery”. When, I ask? Tomorrow. I just sat upright for the first time yesterday….but I said yes.

I said yes, because during my recent (hiatus/broken tablet/not a very good excuse) time away from blogging I signed a contract to buy two of the tax offices I manage. I spent hours planning, cried tons of tears and  ate two bags of Dove chocolate coming to the decision to say yes.

The key to it all was recognizing the point when I wanted to say no. It felt the same as the knot in my stomach from the flu. Right there, I knew, that punched in the gut feeling, I had to find the cause of it. Through a bit of trial & error – every time I said to myself – “but you could fail and lose everything” my stomach would knot. Ouch – it’s doing it now just thinking about it.

Left alone, I think I would have said no. But I let people in. I talked with them and when something they said made my stomach hurt, I asked them to repeat it and say it in different ways. As a person who has never truly failed at anything – school, sports, jobs – what was I afraid of?

Turns out…..I wanted to coast through the next 6 years in my bubble. My youngest will finish school, I can move back home to the Twin Cities, or I can move to Paris and wait tables. But I can leave this behind. If I bought the offices, I was committing to becoming a part of these communities that I had withdrawn and protected myself from.

I can juggle my bills well enough to get by, but if I bought, yes, I could fail, but I could also succeed. I had not envisioned what that would look like. It also makes my stomach hurt (bad) to think of myself as successful. What happens to successful people? They fall. (This concept needs a lot more insight and thought!! I’m still working on that.)

So, I had discovered my key fears. Once I defined them, it made the decision easier. They were fears and not realities. And once again, they stem from low self-esteem. Saying yes was good self-care.

My guy called when he got back to town at 8 and said he would brave the flu house to help me go over my outline for today’s meeting. I haven’t seen him in over a week, but I was tired and didnt feel like talking. So as kind as he was being, I said no. This is entrely new for me. Which is why my saying no was good self-care.

Something Fun To Try…

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http://www.pixelthoughts.co/# 

I received an email this morning with a cool screen shot of a star you can write your worries in and then do a one minute stress release meditation. I thought it was pretty cool!! I went to the ‘pixel thoughts’ link & of course typed in work as my biggest stress. Then I watched my stress disappear into the universe. Such a creative idea!

Have a Worry? This Will Shrink It (For Now)

Mark Twain once said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

But what if we had a way to shrink those worries in just one minute?

You likely have the worry in this moment and I’m going to point you to something that can help alleviate it for now.

You are going to put your stressful thought in a star…

Then just relax your body and watch it drift away…

You’ll breathe in…

Then breathe out…

You’ll start to understand that you’re like is okay and that sense the reality of this thought in the grand scheme of things.

This is called Pixel Thoughts, give it 60 seconds and see what you notice.

If you want to do this yourself, here Ultimately, if this worry continues to come back, it’s a good idea to set some time aside to intentionally think about it. However, it may just be something you don’t have control over and so doing this regularly may be a good practice.

Now take this feeling into the rest of your day :).

Warmly,

Elisha Goldstein, PhD

Author of Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Hello Friends

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I tripped over my Nook’s power cord in January and I couldn’t rescue it. Yesterday I traded it in and got the new Samsung Tablet e Nook.

Still learning all the new app features so I will be slow in coming back. Plus, it’s the heart of my tax season, plus, we all have the stomach flu at the same time 🙂

Going to spend some time catching up on reading blogs. See you all soon!!