I worked really hard the first year of my blog, to define what a REWARD is to me. Some still work, clean sheets, toast, and books are still some of my favorites! (Though not toast in bed of course.)
I still struggle with using rewards that involve DOING something. Baking, going, creating, sorting….though I love these things, they aren’t rewards. They should be defined as To-do’s, yet I keep putting them on my rewards list.
Buying something should be a reward, but I have such a hang up about purchasing myself items. It evolves into a crappy, regretful moment. So, I steer clear of using ‘things’ as a reward. Well….except for flour…..and baking supplies…..and specialty food (Fannie & Flo’s lard for pie crust!!!!)….and organic heirloom seeds…. I really do love baking & gardening. But putting BAKING or GARDENING as a reward doesn’t work.
The best rewards are just time for myself. Like coffee & toast, or tea and a fancy cookie. Ice cream before bed. Or time to meditate. Ordering from a catalog (while eating cookie or toast) not shopping.
Three simple rewards a day work for me. The hardest part is planning them for the week. I’ve been rereading my blog posts and have been adding back in some classics, the library, Bubble Hour, fall Yin Yoga, stickers.
Rewarding myself is so difficult. I give away so much of my time to family, clients & staff and I RECEIVE SO MUCH in return for this time. It can almost get addicting to help others and get that praise in return. The REWARDS help to fill myself up, so I have enough of me to share.
In the very beginning of sobriety I would reward myself every 4 hours for staying sober. One whole day sober was just too much. I can’t imagine waiting a week, or 10 days or a month to get ONE reward. Not this girl. More is better Right!?! I can embrace that part of my addict brain.
I do best now, to get my rewards in before the day officially starts. Reading & writing blogs, toast, meditation, wearing my fun flower shoes to work, maybe TWO cups of my favorite coffee, my homemade strawberry rhubarb jam on my toast…..mmmmmm…..toast.