I hung in. Didn’t cave to alcohol cravings. The Universe sent words of wisdom. I listened. Kind of unusual for me. I tend to be more advice giving than heeding. But I stayed quiet and waited. Did not act for once.
Good for me. Self-patting on back. Glitter on my newly pedi’d toes. (Purple glitter rocks in the sun.)
My new future is calling me. It even involves a name change. I’m 51, I was only married 7 years, now divorced for 10. My boys are no longer 3 & 6. They understand why mom will have a different last name.
A Martha Beck exercise I did a few years ago uncovered some great truths about myself. The number one was, when imaging what kind of man was in my futre life, it was SHOCK – none. I removed my dating profiles and stopped looking for a partner. It felt so radical, so against what I had been trying to achieve.
And SHOCK my new future story does not seem to include alcohol. It’s been tough. My past wants me back.
But the clouds are parting and I see sunshine ahead.